plastic sheets and money trees

So, here I am! In a University Avenue condo. God willing, this will be my last Provo residence for the rest of my life.

I have high hopes for this little place. The kitchen is not amazing and the carpet is also not amazing, but I HAVE MY OWN ROOM. Yeah. Collegiate gold. In honor of having my first private room in an apartment, I bought new sheets. I already mentioned these sheets in my packing fiasco post. They are Cynthia Rowley sheets, cute but basic, and I found them at Marshall's for $15 and begged my mom to get them for me. She did. That mom!

Cynthia Rowley makes cute stuff. She's a big leaguer. And I was really feeling like these designer sheets were going to take me to the next level of fabulous. Like my dreams would be even sweeter than normal* when I was sleeping in these sheets. Four days ago, I decided to wash them before I brought them over to the new apartment, and as I reached into the bag with excitement to shake out the fabric embodiment of faith in the future, I was surprised to find out that these sheets are not made out of cotton.

Who the heck makes sheets that are not cotton?

Just thinking that is going to force me to have a moment. Excuse me.





Okay.

I realize that there are such thing as polyester sheets. I have a cotton-poly blend pillowcase that I use on the reg and it's fine. It feels pretty cotton-y. But these designer sheets are straight up plastic. They feel like a really thin and flexible tarp. I cannot convey my level of disappointment in words that these cute, name-brand sheets are actually the least comfortable sheets I have ever slept in. And I am so mad that I haven't even taken them off my bed. I keep hoping that I'll acclimate, or they'll suddenly turn into cotton and this whole issue will be forgotten.

Cuss the cusser that told Ms. Rowley that microfiber, a material used in industrial settings for its apparently good electrodynamic qualities, was a fitting material to make sheets out of.

I would like to add this excerpt from the Wikipedia page about microfiber:

With microfiber basketballs already popular worldwide and in FIBA^{[citation needed]}, the NBA proposed the use of a microfiber ball for the 2006–07 season.^[14] The ball, which is manufactured by Spalding, does not require a "break-in" period of use as leather balls do, and has the ability to absorb water and oils, meaning that sweat from players touching the ball is better absorbed, making the ball less slippery.^[14] Over the course of the season, the league received many complaints from players who found that the ball bounced differently from leather balls, and that it left cuts on their hands.^[15] On January 1, 2007, the league scrapped the use of all microfiber balls and returned to leather basketballs.^[15]

Anyways, on to a new topic: If y'all have followed this blog for long, like really long, you will know that I have had a thing with plants ever since I came to school. Freshman year, I tried to grow zinnias, and the little sprouties were named Queen Victoria, but on a blustery Sunday the pot fell from my second story window into the ground floor landscaping, and that was the end of that. Last summer I cared for James MacAvoy the mini Christmas tree, that suffered from extreme dehydration, but he eventually pulled through. This spring I tried to grow various flowers and succulents that all died (I'm not going to name any names, but they died because I left them in the care of someone who obviously does not love plants the way I do, while I was in Texas. Rude.) And now, I am in the possession of a small braided pachira aquatic AKA money tree which I have named Franklin in honor of Benjamin Franklin the edgy and famous American historical figure, also featured on our hundred dollar bill, and Franklin the puppet of Gob on Arrested Development that is both a musical artist and a pimp (rolling in it).

I'll post pics later. Get excited.


*I have always been a vivid dreamer. Like, always. But now that I'm on some magic (legal, prescribed) drugs, my dreams are both more life like and more creative. I am loving it.