I love that I am a hard core bad guy to some people. It makes me feel less lame. This is my life: wake up. Eat food. Put on clean large or x-large t shirt. Drive somewhere. Eat some more. Go to bed. Being called out for having an abrasive personality makes me feel like the man in Despicable Me. I'M AN EVIL GENIUS!!!!!!!!!
Ok, new topic: What I Did On Saturday.
If y'all haven't noticed, I do not do a lot of outdoorsy adventurous things. I definitely blame that on the discomfort in nature that I inherited from my father. Some of us were just built to appreciate AC and restaurants.
I am not exactly proud of being that way. I honestly have tried to enjoy hiking and camping and stuff. But minimal physical activity turns me into Madi the Sweating Tomato, and nobody really likes to hang out with her. Also, I am a bit of a chubs, so like 10 minutes into anything, my lungs are like BRO, WE THERE YET?
But on Saturday, I was invited to do something outdoors, and I did it. It was HARD CORE. Even more hard core than my bad guy status. I floated half of the Provo River on a twin air mattress during a mountain thunderstorm.
I have no pictures. My only proof is a monstrous purple bruise on my lower back that I got when we capsized under a bridge and I hit a rock, and y'all probably don't want to see that. But I can feel it all the time!
Let's just say that it was amazing and I want to do it again. Some of the other people I was with were freezing by the time we stopped (and we had to stop at the 1/2 way point because 2 out of 3 of our mattresses had popped, and 7 people on one twin wasn't going to float) but I was finally at room temperature, so that was a big plus.
If you ever want to do this, here are my thoughts:
WEAR SHOES. My roommate let me borrow her water-hiking shoes, and without them, I never would have made it out of the river.
WEAR SOMETHING WITH YOUR SWIMSUIT. I did not die of exposure thanks to A) my internal volcano and B) I wore yoga pants, so my legs were covered.
BE PREPARED TO LOSE THE MATTRESSES. Because air mattresses were not built to survive even the most tame of river rapids. Surprise, right?
DO NOT FEAR THE REAPER. And do not bring anything metal with you. Because lightning happens.
Today during Musical Madness I am baking up some cookies for our friend Brandon that works for the tubing company that had a bus that we jumped on to avoid walking the three miles back to our parked cars (does that make sense?) and thinking more about how awesome my weekend was. Maybe it will inspire me to do something outdoors again. Who knows?
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