so full

i am currently breathlessly full with both

ben and jerry's

and regret.

but it's been a truly lovely sunday, besides my ice cream overdose! after church in kendal, it had stopped raining so i thought i'd walk to my bridge and back (which is like... less than half a mile, one way), for some fresh air. and really, it was a dream. fresh air all over the place. unfortunately, it started raining before i got to the bridge and then just as i was on it, it started hailing a little. just little granular hails, but i was worried it would get worse, so i ducked inside the little old church for a minute. it was completely empty. when i came back out there was a couple on the bridge but the graveyard was completely empty. i have never seen it empty in daylight.

this is me, in front of the gated patch where wordsworth and some members of his immediate family are buried. little bundles of snowdrops were in bloom all over the graveyard, which was really sweet and springy to see. everyone says it is going to snow soon but i really wish it could just be spring time. spring time means flowers and lambs and warmer breezes. 

but i wouldn't complain if it snowed for valentine's. that seems alright to me.

oh my gosh, the ice cream in my stomach is going to explode out of my sweater and then i'm only going to have one sweater left to last me two months.... bluhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh WHY DID I LET MYSELF EAT THE WHOLE THING WHY WHY WHY.

i'll tell you why. these were the exact two thoughts i used to convince myself that it was ok:

"the freezer is so far away, and you would have to talk to people if you walked through the kitchen... just finish it now. then it won't tempt you later!"

"this is your indulgence. you don't drink. you don't smoke. you don't have amorous relations. you have also been deprived of cookies AND cake for ten days now. just do it."

oh madi. you will hate yourself this week, when none of your pants fit. WELL DONE.

no more ice cream this week. 

also i should probably try to walk a little more.

bluh.