I do occasionally create and then perform acts of self-punishment. I "create" them in the sense that they are things that nobody is asking me to do, but I feel that doing them will in some way discipline myself or enhance my ecosystem. These punishments range from waking up unrealistically early to buy a mop and then mop the kitchen, to forcing myself to eat yogurt. I have been told by multiple doctors to incorporate yogurt into my diet, but by the second spoon I'm gagging... It's just not my thing.
But the punishment most often performed (and therefore the least effective? most psychotic?) is wearing pants that are too tight to remind myself that I would be 20 times healthier if I started eating better, exercising regularly, and losing weight.
Tight pants (and really most pants, who am I kidding) are agony. You cannot ignore tight pants. And they make your whole outfit a magic trick. There are not many kinds of shirts that can effectively hide the fact that your stomach is mushroom-clouding over your waistband. The shirt also needs to be long enough to hide any oddly stretched seams or pocket lines. I have been wearing tight pants since I began wearing store-bought pants... And I can't remember owning pants that weren't play clothes that my mom made (elastic, breathable HEAVEN) before I was... six...? and I had a pair of pink overall shorts with Minnie Mouse on the bib. I remember when those got too tight. I tried to put them on when we were living in Longview. They wouldn't fit over my hips. My mom told me to put them in the Goodwill bag. I was crushed. Longview was the worst.
Anyways, this habit needs to end. Its effectiveness is only considerable in the shame and sadness department of my life. I am telling you this so that you too can end any weird, ineffective personal punishment systems... Especially if they involve discomfort or pants. TAKE IT OFF, FRIENDS!
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