Consider the paper chain made.

15 days of work left. There are a few days off interspersed. Three weeks left in this internship.

I am a dutiful counter. I count down to everything, good or bad. Days and minutes. Sometimes years... those are the worst. I have always been like this. It's not like I'm always looking forward to something new, I'm just highly aware of endings.

When I got on the plane over here (after an eternal count down), I was ready to end all counting for the rest of forever at the end of this internship. I wasn't wildly suicidal, but in many ways it seemed like this was everything I had worked for, and I didn't have a new dream, and I was so tired, I didn't want to come up with a new one. I have had a wonderful life. I don't deserve a lot of the amazing things I have been able to do and receive. But socially, and psychologically, my college education was kind of like middle school repeated. And despite the cultural expectation, I hope I never look back on those years as the best ones.

My time spent abroad was hands-down the best, though. I have learned and changed so much at the mere expense of transatlantic travel (lol thanks padres). And thankfully, much like my previous European experiences, this internship has planted a few dream seeds. I'm still not sure what is going to come next, but there is a reason to keep counting. I'm waiting to hear back about three stateside museum internships, and that will determine where I live from June to fall (listed from least to most likely): San Francisco (working at the SFMOMA), St. Louis (working at either the SLAM or SLCAM), or Tyler (mooching off the generosity of my parents as an unemployed bachelor).

So keep your fingers crossed for me, mkay?