presenting two of my favorite youtubes of all time, and some general announcements

First of all, if you had told me 4 years (or even 4 months) ago that I would willingly make the decision to stay in Provo after I finished my Bachelor's degree, I would have either laughed (with my stomach shaking like a bowl full of jelly) and then say "You are the funniest person in all the land," or looked at you like you were a crazy person and then make no response.

Well, in the words of Joe Jonas...


Or...




Yeah. So. I'm moving back to Provo.

I'm moving back to Provo for several good reasons. It wasn't an easy decision to make, because I love my family and I love Texas a lot more than Provo. I think on good days, I accept Provo. And that's probably the height of it.

But I know this is a good choice. Especially because I will *hopefully* be taking advanced Portuguese classes from BYU as a post baccalaureate student (chances are slim to none that I'll get accepted because preference is always given to freshman and grad students but hey I'm all for putting as many eggs in as the basket can hold) while I apply for graduate school; specifically to history programs, with an emphasis in Iberian colonization in North and South America.

O, my audience. It feels right. A year ago when the history graduate advisor at UT Austin told me in a pretty straightforward and disenchanting way that I was not a prime candidate for any prestigious history programs, including Austin's, I gave up on my dreams that afternoon. I tried to talk myself out of it, and let new doors open. And seriously, those new doors opened to some fantastic things (The Wordsworth Trust). But as I seriously looked at my future, nothing felt as good as history, and a PhD is what I want and have always wanted (Dr. Mackey hey heyyyyyy). I want to teach history at a university level. And maybe it will take me 10 years to get there. Whatever. Bring on advanced stages of anxiety and gray hairs! I'M GOING TO BE A PUBLISHED HISTORIAN SOMEDAY, HOMEDAWGS. The ultimate goal, of course, has not changed since my senior year of high school: I would like to be featured in a PBS historical documentary/tv series. That is the dream. If any of you become PBS directors, please keep me in mind.

Some doors open and some doors close and I do not always handle that well, but I'm really trying to do my best with what I have and what I want. I know that discouragement is my #1 trial in this life, and I face it every day, but I'm trying to be brave now. I'm definitely doing this, this whole moving back to Provo for an extra year and applying to hard programs and following my craziest dream to date, because I want to. That is a little scary but also empowering. If you want to talk me out of this, please don't. But thanks for wanting the best!

And here's a youtube that I love that pertains to nothing:


Thanks, Monty.